'One less toxic guest on the list': Woman uninvites her fiancé's best man to their wedding after he makes a crass, tasteless joke on her birthday

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 21, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

The best man's speech is either a heartfelt moment at a person's wedding, or it's the biggest cringe-fest in the world.  Oftentimes, you can tell by a best man's personality which way the speech will go. And let me tell ya, speaking from experience as an ex-wedding coordinator, the best man's speech is usually a series of long-winded bad jokes, crass anecdotes, and some sort of gross insult hurled at the bride about 'whom the groom belongs to.'

In my opinion, just because you're the best man, doesn't mean you get free rein over the mic. 

However, the woman in this next story realized before the actual wedding that her future husband's best friend was going to be a problem. After 4 years of enduring his presence, allowing her fiancé to justify his childish behavior, and witnessing the unraveling maturity of this 30-year-old man, their friendship came to a screeching halt the day of her birthday. All it took was one tasteless joke to break the camel's back, sending this best man's wedding invitation straight to the trash…

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  • Cheezburger Image 10495594496
    via vkstudio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for telling my fiancé I don't want his best man coming to our wedding after what he did at my birthday dinner?
    via xoxotransbabe
  • So I'm (29F) and my fiance (31M) and we have been together for 4 years. We are planning our wedding for later this year which has been going great except for one person. His best friend kyle.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • kyle is one of those dudes who peaked in high school and is so insufferable. He is always making unnecessary jokes that seem like insults tbh. But my fiance says he's just goofy and immature and so I've tried to keep my peace.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • Anyway my birthday was two weeks ago. Nothing big happened just a dinner at a nice restaurant with close friends and family. Near the end of it someone mentioned the wedding
    via xoxotransbabe
  • and how everything was going and my fiance answered and said we were writing our own vows. I said I was nervous but excited. Then kyle said loudly. I think
    via xoxotransbabe
  • everyone present in the restaurant heard it that's how loud he was "Just don't cry halfway through your vows like you did during your breakup remember that?" The table went de d silent.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • In the moment I laughed it off cause i didn't want to create a scene there. But I was humiliated. My dad was present there and my fiance was aware of that breakup it was ab ive and traumatic. I later told him how
    via xoxotransbabe
  • hurt I was and he said kyle was just being kyle and you know how he is babe. So I sat on it for a few days even though i was hurt. But then finally
    via xoxotransbabe
  • I told him I don't want kyle at the wedding. Not at the rehearsal. Not giving a speech Nothing. Nowhere I just don't want him there.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • Now my fiance is saying I'm overreacting. That kyle was just trying to be funny and kicking him off the list would destroy our 15years of friendship.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • But honestly If kyle can not respect me then why should I allow him to stand next to the man I'm marrying. So AITA for refusing to have kyle at the wedding after all this?
    via xoxotransbabe
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    via CREATISTA

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 5 DAYS LATER

    UPDATE: AITA for telling my fiancé I don't want his best man coming to our wedding after what he did at my birthday dinner?
    via xoxotransbabe
  • Hey everyone thank you for the overwhelming support and comments on my original post. I didn't expect it to blow up but reading the responses honestly gave me a lot of clarity and strength.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • So 2 days after I postedmy original post I sat down with my fiance again to clear the air. I told him calmly that I wasn't changing my mind about Kyle. That it wasn't just about one joke it was about the fact
    via xoxotransbabe
  • that Kyle has never shown me respect. And then my fiance understood we had a bigger issue. He got quiet and listened to me and for the first time I think it really hit him how serious everything was.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • A day later kyle texted me something along the lines "sorry if you were sensitive about the joke the other night wasn't trying to ruin your birthday lol" I showed that to my fiance and he just sighed and said That's just how he talks.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • So I said maybe then kyle can talk like that from his home because he's not coming to our wedding. And now here's the best part My fiance agreed. He wasn't too happy
    via xoxotransbabe
  • about it but he said if it really makes me uncomfortable then kyle won't be there. He told that to kyle and he threw a whole fit about it. Ofcourse as usual called me controlling.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • And then kyle's girlfriend texted me yesterday "I'm honestly glad he's not going because he's been a nightmare about your wedding ever since you got engaged"
    via xoxotransbabe
  • So yeah this exact thing made me realise what i did was absolutely the right thing to do and i dogged a bullet.
    via xoxotransbabe
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    via August de Richelieu

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Now about the wedding it's still on. Just with one less toxic guest on the list. Thank you all for giving me the push I needed to stand my ground.
    via xoxotransbabe
  • Tattyhead_xx His girlfriend's response sums up perfectly why you didn't want him there. You have definitely dodged a bullet. He didn't even apologise and blamed it on you for being "sensitive". I'm glad your fiancé has your back. I hope you have a wonderful wedding.
    via Tattyhead_xx
  • SeraphinaDusks 'Sorry if you were sensitive' is the most 'I'm not actually sorry' apology ever. Kyle gave himself the boot, you just held the door open. Congrats on the upgrade to a peaceful wedding.
    via SeraphinaDusks

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best man bride marriage groom drama invited wedding day uninvited engaged wedding engagement weddings
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